Boy Howdy, Was I Busy!

Boy howdy, has it been a busy few weeks! I went to the local gym for some weight training in preparation for my upcoming trip, when two men came up to me. As it turns out, they were from SHIELD and wanted to give me training in hand-to-hand combat. I agreed, and after calling Maria to let her know where I'd be, went with them to a small facility about an hour or two out where they proceeded to work me over. While I was thinking I had been suckered into a trap, they told me they were just measuring my fighting prowess. I did all right, I guess, and for the next few weeks they taught me basic self-defense and whatnot, and put me on a steady athlete's diet of steak, potatoes, and light salads. They also injected me with some sort of serum, saying that it would give me Olympic-athlete level agility and endurance. Those boys don't mess around when you sign up with the Registration Act, no sir!

Late yesterday, they said I was good enough to get out there and fight the good fight. When I got back to Maria's apartment, she surprised me in several ways! The first surprise was a specially-modified recreational vehicle, with all sorts of amenities. Sort of like a land yacht, which is just perfect for me. The second was that she was going to come with me and be my sidekick/partner/first mate. To tell you the truth, I'm pleased as punch about this because in the month I've known her I've grown quite fond of Miss Lopez. I can tell she's grown quite fond of me as well, because of the third surprise she had for me. I won't tell you what it was because I'm a gentleman, but it was a whopper!

Today was another day, however, and what a day it was! The SHIELD fellows were back again, this time asking me if I wanted to go back to my home dimension. After giving it a small bit of thought, I decided to stop back there in order to get my affairs in order. After all, this universe I've found myself in seems much better than my old one. In any case, Maria and I hopped in the Land Yacht (I'll think up a better name for it later) and drove to the SHIELD place, where Reed Richards and his wife were waiting to see me off. He wished me luck and gave me a doohickey to use when I wanted to come back.

With a zap, I was back home! To my surprise, only a week or so had passed since I left. Apparently, some woman claiming to be Spider-Man's wife has popped up, to which I say pshaw! There's no way he would engage in such blatant womanizing as to marry two women. That's not the Spider-Man I know! Yes, I barely know him, but I know he's not that type of fellow. Also, he's been hit in the head with a brick which has put him out of commission for a while. I'm not sure what's up with that, to tell you the truth. A reporter asked me about all the stuff poor Spider-Man has been going through, and it tore me up that I couldn't just say what I knew (about his secret identity and whatnot) to help him out. Then I went to the bank, closed my account, and foiled a bank robbery using my new moves. Maria said I did a fine job.

After that, we headed back to my new home dimension, and I'm sure it gave the media quite a start when we turned down an alley and vanished. In any case, we're set to leave Los Angeles to head out on the road in about a week. If anyone out there is reading this and has any ideas where I could fight some crime on the road, please let me know!

Semi-Truck

I considered getting a semi-truck to ride around in instead of a car or van. Maria told me about two other heroes who drove semi-trucks, US Archer and Razorback. Apparently, this universe has an odd rule that if you are a superhero who drives a semi-truck for an extended period of time, you have to start driving it in space. I don't want that, so it's back to the drawing board.